Don't Touch
by hoagie
Summary: Not even Emperor Mandy is above a little Hypocrisy.


This one is set in the future after Mandy has already taken over the world. I decided to keep her as a human, not a talking sandworm no matter how much I wanted to play with Dune references.

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Mandy enjoyed being world dictator, there was nothing better than the fear and respect people gave to the empress of the world. Still a planet of groveling subjects aside; the job was incredibly tedious. The Empress was responsible for making decisions big and small that used to be the responsibility of all the worlds national leaders. Initially Mandy enjoyed this aspect of her job. Most if not all people had terrible judgment and couldn't be trusted to tie their own shoes correctly let alone make an intelligent decision.

After two years on the throne, Mandy had a different view on the matter. The sheer number of problems she had to address began to swamp her. There was also the problem of culture, Mandy was intelligent and she knew it. Still she didn't think so highly of herself that she thought she could understand cultures from half way around the world. Rather than anger her subjects by enforcing unilateral decisions that erased thousands of years of culture. Mandy began to install local envoys, people whose job was to learn and adapt to the local traditions and then make decisions accordingly. If they encountered any trouble or had any difficulty making a decision then they could ask the Empress.

Today the empress found herself heading off to some far away outpost of her empire. The Local figurehead there had reported that a shortage of water there had brought the region to the brink of civil war. Unsure of what he should do next, the Envoy asked the Empress for help.

Catching a ride to the airbase outside of her personal palace in North America, Mandy climbed into the hyper advance jet liner that served as the Empress's taxi. Within moments the jet climbed into the sky at a rate that once only belonged to the most powerful military aircraft. Mandy knew that at her current speed she would arrive at the other side of the world in under an hour.

Her destination was something of a backwater (minus the water) a long forgotten part of the globe. The region had neither gained nor lost anything from Mandy taking control of the world. From the air the landscape looked bleak and as the plane descended for a landing the dreariness only intensified.

The local Envoy was waiting for Mandy at the air strip she landed at. His security force formed a semi circle around him. Mandy's own guard force dwarfed his and immediately fanned out from her jet to make sure the airport was free of danger. Meeting her on the tarmac, the Envoy bowed before he spoke to the Empress, an action Mandy quite appreciated. The man gestured towards a building behind him trying to convince Mandy to discuss the problem inside. Mandy refused "Just tell me the problem so I can fix it and return to civilization."

Appearing somewhat off put, the figurehead obeyed the empress anyway. "Well, Empress the supply of water is very limited out here. I have been doing my best to divide the water amongst the people but there's a rebel group that claims it belongs to them. I've tried to suppress them but their numbers are increasing every day."

Mandy pondered the issue over for a moment before she pointed at an individual in her entourage. The man whom Mandy pointed at approached the Empress. He, unlike the rest of Mandy's followers wasn't covered in weapons and tactical gear but instead wore a black suit and tie. The man lowered his head so that the Empress could whisper into his ear, the man in the suit listened to Mandy for a short time before he raised his head and spoke to her "No, more than seventy two hours."

Mandy gestured for the man to go away with her hand and the man walked away, effortlessly blending back into the crowd around Mandy. Turning her attention back to the local leader, Mandy spoke. "Your problem is over; I put the Imperial Intelligence agency on the issue. The rebel's leadership will be wiped out in less than three days."

The figure heads face warmed up. "Oh, thank you empress." He said before he stepped forward and grasped Mandy's hand to shake it. There was an audible gasp from everyone around them. The Envoy's face switched from a look of relief to one of terror only a second before he was tackled to the ground by Mandy's guards, all too late the local envoy realized the enormity of his mistake.

He had violated the first rule of etiquette when addressing the Empress, under no circumstances is the Empress to be touched. Everyone in the empire knew this rule especially her bodyguards. Mandy realized that the man had done while he was in a state of relief, he probably wasn't thinking logically at the time. The hand shake had even been a gesture of thankfulness. Nevertheless the Envoy had violated a rule Mandy felt very strongly about and he had to be made an example of. Mandy noticed that her guards had also disarmed the Envoys security detachment.

With the problem solved, Mandy turned and headed back to the jet only to have one of her soldiers call out to her. "Uhh, excuse me Empress"

Mandy was annoyed that he had delayed her return home, but the soldier sounded nervous and he had gone out of his way to be respectful to her so she decided to see what he needed. Mandy turned back around and said "Yes" expectedly.

"What should we do with this man and his guards?"

"Spare the guards, but the Envoy dies."

The soldier responded "Yes, Empress" and Mandy once again headed in the direction of her jet. A single gunshot was heard as she climbed aboard.

Moments later the jet was back in the air, tearing across the sky. It would be a short time till Mandy landed back home and she passed the time deeply entrenched in thought. She almost felt remorse for ordering the Envoys death but he had irked her number one pet peeve. Mandy wasn't sure why it angered her so much but for as long as she could remember she had hated it when people touched her. It probably had something to do with a very persistent boy who liked to end sentences with the word yo. Either way the first rule implemented when she took power was that no one was allowed physical contact with the Empress, well almost no one.

A slight jolt surged through the plane when it made contact with the runway, Knocking Mandy out of her thoughts and telling her that she had made it home. Exiting the jet, Mandy walked across the airstrip located inside the giant complex that was her home. On the opposite end of the air base was a large fenced off area that housed her palace. At the main gate stood two sentries, that bowed before they opened the gate for her. Once she was inside the perimeter wall of her palace Mandy was officially alone, it was her policy that no one was ever allowed to see the inside of the palace. The two guards that watched the gate were as close as anyone would ever get to being inside Mandy's home.

Continuing till she was inside the actual palace. Mandy closed the main door behind her and walked towards the interior rooms, her footsteps echoing against the marble floor as she went. As she continued moving further and further into the interior of the massive palace the theme song of a long since cancelled T.V show became audible.

Finally having made it to the door of her personal living space, Mandy flung the door open. Inside the room, playing on what had to be one of the largest televisions ever made was an episode of Dinobinoids.

Rising from a couch situated in front of the T.V was Billy, whose face lit up with a stupid grin as soon as he saw Mandy enter the room. Shouting her name as he ran to her, Billy made his way across the room quickly giving Mandy only a second to brace herself for what she knew was coming. As soon as he was in arms reach Billy latched onto her and pulled Mandy into a bone crushing hug. "Hello, Billy" mumbled Mandy who had become all too familiar with Billy's bear hugs when she came home. This had become something of a routine for the childhood friends and though she'd hate to admit it Mandy liked coming home to Billy after a hard day of subjugation even with his tendency to get touchy.

Today, however it was hard to take, less than two hours ago she had ordered the execution of a man just for shaking her hand. Now in the privacy of her home she let Billy wrap his arms around her without protest. Mandy wondered what the people of her empire would think if they saw her now. Luckily for Mandy, what transpired in her palace was unknown to the world except for her and Billy. No, one in the empire knew that Billy lived in the Empress's home.

Though she was the only one that knew it, Mandy felt disgusted with herself for being such a hypocrite. Mandy wondered why she gave Billy the privilege that no one else on earth did. Deep down she knew the answer, but that didn't little to quell the disgust she felt for herself.

Trying and failing to free herself from Billy's embrace, Mandy asked "Billy, can you let go of me."

In what passed for a teasing tone from Billy he said "Nope, not until you give me a kiss."

Somewhat taken aback, Mandy thought about hitting him or verbally abusing him for his demand, but there was no point. Billy had actually grown a little more intelligent with age and even he realized that Mandy wouldn't have let him live with her for two years unless she had feelings for him.

Mandy let out a defeated sigh before she said "Fine" sounding more agitated than she really was. Looking up at the boy who had grown to be taller than her, Mandy planted a kiss on Billy's left cheek causing a rush of warmth to run through her. Billy held onto her a second or two after the kiss and smiled at Mandy before he let go. Much to her own surprise Mandy felt let down when Billy released her. It was only after the fact that she realized how much she had enjoyed their exchange of affection.

Billy turned away to return to his television watching but Mandy grabbed hold of his hand before he got out of her reach. Billy turned round again to face her and this time it was Mandy that wrapped her arms around him. Mandy didn't care anymore if hugging her first and only friend made her a hypocrite. No one would ever know anyway and if by some chance the people of her empire found out, Mandy could make it the official policy that Billy was the only one allowed to touch the Empress. When Mandy thought about it' that had been her unofficial policy since she was ten anyway.

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I love this pairing, I really do. I don't know why but its always been really interesting to me, even before I got into fan fiction. Maybe its because they give little hints about it in the show. If your any way near as nerdy as I am about the show you'd see that Billy occasionally gets away with touching Mandy, something no other characters can hope for. Well that's enough nerdy obsession for now hope you guys enjoyed the story.


End file.
